Lokacin da Secure-Tronics ta gabatar da jerin mutummutumi na tsaro 101 a babbar kasuwar Park Plaza a cikin 1986, sun yi wata magana mai sauƙi - “Babu shakka babu abin da zai iya yin kuskure.”

Ba su yi daidai ba.

Ko ta yaya, irin wannan tunanin ya saki gwajin Shack Radio ya lalace. Bots sun kasance ainihin abin da zai faru da Johnny 5 da ED-209 sun yi ƙawancen soyayya wanda aka yayyafa shi da ƙwarewar ƙirar hadari.

Oh, fun da aka samu a sakamakon.

Anan akwai kyawawan abubuwa biyar na Jim Wynorski's Yankan Mall.

Walter PAISLEY

Yana da Dick Miller. Bari mu zama gaske, ƙarin bayani ba lallai ba ne, amma za mu yi ta wata hanya. Daya daga cikin manyan yan wasan kwaikwayo na kowane lokaci, ana kiran Miller a matsayin "mai ban dariya sosai" ta Roger Corman, wanda tabbas yayi aure Yankan Mall furodusa Julie Corman.

A matsayina na mai kula da shago, halayyar Miller ta kasance da suna da muka saba da shi shekaru da yawa kuma shine halin sa, a kan allo. Cranky, mai tauri, mai ban dariya da ban dariya. Lokacin da daya daga cikin Go-Bots ya kwankwasa bokitin ruwan sa sai yayi barazanar maida shi karfen da zai ci kafin yayi laushi don nuna ID din sa. Lokacin da hakan bai tafi daidai ba ko da sauri kamar yadda yake fata, Miller ya yi ƙoƙari ya sauke guduma tare da mofi kafin ya sami dafa shi.

Da sauri sosai, kodayake bashi da alaƙa da komai, amma a harbi inda Miller yake hira da wasu 'yan uwansa masu kula da gida, ana iya ganin shago a bayan fage wanda ake kira Slavick's Jewelers. Yanzu, wannan ya kasance shekaru uku kafin Miller ya bayyana ƙyamar sa game da cul-de-sacs, amma mutum ba zai iya taimakawa ba sai dai ya yi dariya cewa muna da alamun magana 'Burbs, saboda dukkanmu muna sane cewa Miller ba yaro bane kawai na Corman, amma na Joe Dante, haka nan.

A GASKIYA NA CE 'EM, ITA

Yayi kyau, don haka ya kasance ishara daga asali Ranar da Duniya Ta Tsaya, amma ba za ku iya taimakawa ba amma kuna son lokacin. Na san hakan yana sanya ni murmushi daga kunne zuwa kunne duk lokacin da na ji shi. Mike Brennan (John Terlesky) shine samfurin '80s' na nama - babban gashi, manyan tsokoki, murmushi mai girma, ci gaba da cingam da kuma tunani iri daya. Koyaya, lokacin da Leslie Tood (Suzee Slater) ta bukace shi da ya ɓace don samun sigari bayan jima'i a cikin sigari (ahhh, '80s), sai ya fuskanci ɗayan fushin-bots kuma lokaci ne na gargajiya. . Ya miƙa ID ɗin sa don sikanin, amma kafin ya ciro sai ya fadi “Klaatu, verada, nikto. Lafiya? ” Nunawa ga sci-fi na gargajiya kuma wataƙila wahayi don Bruce Campbell ne adam wata da Sam Raimi's Army Dark. Ba tare da la'akari ba, bai tsufa ba.

KARATU, TSOHON YARO. ME ZAKU YI DA RAYUWAR KU?

Ina shakkar kowannenku ya rasa Jumma'a da 13th part 2 yin nuni a can, amma don samun lafiya, Russell Todd ba wai kawai ya nuna Rick Stanton a ciki ba Yankan Mall, amma har da Scott a cikin jerin farko na Camp saga Lake Lake. Ya balaga daga hargitsi da harbe-harben bindigogi a kan abin da Terry ya yi game da rayuwar aure, amma bai kula da shi sosai ba yayin da bots suka fitar da mafi kyawun rabinsa. Abin dariya, saboda dan wasan Todd na ranar Juma'a Tom McBride ya tabbatar da cewa ba zai taba zama shugaban wata babbar kamfani ba, kuma Rick ya bi sahu, yana tsalle a kan keken hawa kamar Austin Powers don tafiya mai kafa biyar sai kawai a sanya shi lantarki nan take. Ina tsammani ba zai iya jure tunanin rayuwa ba tare da amaryarsa ba.

Wuya TRIO

Waɗannan ba 'yan matan makarantar sakandarenku bane masu ban tsoro. Lafiya, don haka Barbara Cramton wasa mai cike da nishadi da iskanci har zuwa kammala, amma game da lokaci Leslie ta rasa kan ta, Crampton ya tafi ƙarshen zurfi.

Koyaya, Linda Stanton (Karrie Emerson) ba komai bane face halin mace mai jifa wanda kawai buƙatarta shine ta nuna ƙirjinta kuma ta mutu mutuwar da ba za a taɓa mantawa da ita ba. A'a, Linda mai hankali ce kuma tana tunani a ƙafafunta. Ta gyara motarta lokacin da mijinta ba zai iya ba kuma ya koya wa sauran matan yadda ake kirkirar wasu hadadden giyar Molotov a cikin shagon kayan aiki. Lallai Linda ta sami kyakkyawar yarinya ta ƙarshe, hakika.

Ba don Alison Parks ba (Kelli Maroney). Duk da cewa da gaske ne halinta bai yi jinkirin zuwa bikin shagon kayan daki ba, sai ta ji wata alaƙa da Ferdy (Tony O'Dell) har ma ta ba da izinin abin al'ajabi ya isa tushe na farko a cikin zaki, Stacy Hamilton / Mark Ratner, Saurin Lokaci lokacin. Koyaya, ba ta taɓa rasa bakinta ba. Ina nufin, ta kasance yarinyar Marine. Ba wai kawai ta kasance Steph Curry na girlsan mata na ƙarshe ba, ya dace gaba ɗaya ta sauke matakin Schwarzenegger, "Yi farin ciki rana" Layi daya kafin hurawa wasan karshe zuwa ragowa a Sherman Oaks Galleria, babban kanti daya inda wuraren Commando aka yi fim.

Da kyau.

PECKINPAH NA!

Rahoto daga gaba: Ferdy ya samu damuwa.

Komai game da wannan yanayin abin ban mamaki ne. Yaran sun yanke shawara cewa suna buƙatar tsayawa da kansu zuwa kantin kayan wasanni don wasu makamai. Daga Rambo-gram har zuwa kyamarar karkatar da bayyana wasu rukuni na mummunan hali, tsafta ce kawai.

bonus

Bayan Alison ya zame gizo-gizo da macizai kuma ya fita daga shagon dabbobin, sai kyamarar ta firgita don bayyana sunan kafa - Roger's Little Shop of Pets.

Jinin jini. Mai haske.

Yankan Mall an wadata shi da lokutan da ba za a taɓa mantawa da su ba, don haka da fatan kada ku ji kunya kuma ku raba naku a cikin ɓangaren maganganun da ke ƙasa.